When your'e playing in a puddle
And your butt is in a muddle

Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When you tour the streets of Rome
And your ass just starts to foam
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When you eat a bowl of butter
and your sphincter starts to sputter
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When you're up in outer space
and it splatters on your face—
Diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're planning where to shit
but it comes out where you sit—
Diarrhea, diarrhea

When you holler for the bill
but your ass begins to spill—
Diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're reading Friedrich Nietzsche,

and regretting the ceviche—

Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When there's defilement in the bowl,
and it's burning in your soul—
Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When you're working very hard
and your asshole leaves you scarred...

When you lie down for siesta
and your ass has a fiesta...

When you're reaching for a glass 
and poop shoots out your ass...

When you're sitting with your girl 
and your butt begins to hurl...

When you're walking through the store
and there's "Cleanup on aisle 4"...

When you have to change your stance 
and cottage cheese just filled your pants...

When you run around a-stout 
and it keeps just shooting out...

When your pants feel really mushy 
and their filled with something slushy...

When your stomach's feeling ill 
and you make a great big spill...

When you're swimming down the stream 
and you pass by something green...

When your friends are in the way 
and your butt's about to spray...

When you about to go to bed 
and your shorts fill up with lead...

When you're feelin kinda squooshy 
and the feeling's in your tushee...

When you're playing with your cat 
and you hear a gooey splat

When you're in a shopping mall 
and its sprays out on the wall...

When you're looking at some art 
and you accidentally shart

When you're a US healthcare professional
and feces are "exo-intestinal"

When it runs between your toes
Like slimy sloppy joes
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're sliding into two
And your pants erupt with goo
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're playing w/ your pet
And you feel something wet
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're shooting at a foul
And there's buckshot in your bowel
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're sitting in a chair
And you feel something tear
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're about to take a quizle
And your ass begins to fizzle
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you feel that pitter patter
Its your but about to splatter
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're giving mom a hug
And it stains her brand new rug
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're lying on the beach
And your cheeks being to breach
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're brushing out your hair
And your butt begins to flare
Diarrhea diarrhea

When the smells is like a fart
But it comes out like a dart
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you eat a spicy pickle
And your butt begins to tickle
Diarrhea diarrhea

When your blogging on the pot
And your sphincter muscles shot
Diarrhea diarrhea

Momma said it wouldn't hurt,
So we had it for dessert
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you think its just the farts
And it turns out to be the “sharts”
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you’ve only got a second
And you need a disinfectant
Diarrhea diarrhea

When it feels like flatulence
but it's poop that's not too dense
Diarrhea diarrhea

When you're riding in a slay
And you hear something spray
Diarrhea diarrhea

When your sitting on a mountain
and your butt becomes a fountain

Diarrhea, Diarrhea

When it’s hanging likes a chad and your butt hurts really bad
Diarrhea, diarrhea

Happy turkey!

When you're driving in your car,
and your house is just too far
Diarrhea, diarrhea

When your stomach is in pain,
and your making chocolate rain
Diarrhea, diarrhea

When you think it's chicken soup
but it's really liquid poop.
Diarrhea diarrhea

When your sitting on a mountain
and your butt becomes a fountain
diarrhea, diarrhea

When you have Thanksgiving turkey
and your stool is a stank hot slurpee
Diarrhea Diarrhea